Let’s talk about how and why to raise your child imperfectly.
You are a new mother. Feeling motherhood for the first time. You want the best for your child. You make sure your kids don’t fall down, hurt themselves, not even a fever while growing up as you are doing everything perfectly for them.
They live according to the “perfect routine” you create for them. You cuddle them, kiss them, love them unconditionally.
But have you ever thought about what your child wants? They are growing up in the perfect atmosphere you created for them, that they are conditioned to think that this is what is best for them.
Your need for perfection makes them incapable of developing a perspective.
In your attempt to give the best to them, have you ticked the following checklist?
1. Importance of NO
‘No’ is a powerful word. It is a debatable matter as to how often you should say no to your child. While I agree that if we say no to everything they won’t get to explore and get the negative vibes.
But in situations where you should say No, you must say No. They might throw tantrums. Try ti reason with them, distract them. But once you know that their tantrums are their protest to your No, Ignore them YES, LET YOUR CHILD KNOW THAT UNDUE TANTRUMS AND STUBBORNNESS WILL BE IGNORED.
2. Learning to get up
You would be scared of whether they will fall down or hurt themselves. You might be heartbroken to see the bruises once they fall down. In order to avoid it, you childproof the whole house and be around them 24/7. But you are depriving them of the greatest lesson of their lives. To learn, to know their strength, to be strong themselves and to be fearless.
Let them fall down, let them bruise themselves, let them get up, let them learn to tolerate the pain. Let them know their worth.
Imperfect parenting continues.
3. Give them some ‘me time’
You should realize the fact that your child is an individual. In an attempt to give him/her the best, you end up denying them that which is most important – space and privacy.
Kids need to learn to deal with their boredom. Let them be alone for a while at least. You can monitor them from somewhere distant.
The most important advantage of giving them time is that they learn about themselves.
4. Scribbled walls aren’t dirty
Let’s think of the detergent ad that says ‘daag ache hain’. Let your child play in the dirt, dance in the rain, and draw on the walls.
Let me share a personal experience.:-
My kids had sinusitis, tonsilitis, and adenoiditis. Their immunity level was nil. But they had this unrelenting love for rain and nature.
I took a major risk by letting them play in the rain. It started off as letting them play for 2 minutes first and slowly widening the duration every time. I was surprised to see how fast they adapted to it and didn’t even fall sick. Now they play in the rain do hours.
The did fall sick but never from playing in the rain.
Scribbling on the walls was yet another hobby. There are several ways to stop them from doing so. But I didn’t want to try them. What’s wrong with scribbling on the walls?
If someone comes to your house and judge you with a scribbled wall, let them. Why pay heed to people who cannot enjoy a child’s cute act?
Remember that there are scores of people out there who crave to see such a sight in their homes.
5. Bring them up in homes, not museums.
My kids are naughty, reached milestones late, destroys toys, didn’t learn anything on time, despite seeing me read all the time or maybe because of that, they hate reading(they used to love it when the were small), don’t listen to what I say( well most of the time), don’t have a systematic life, don’t sleep on time, don’t wake up on time, don’t take shower on time unless I scream at them. BUT… I AM SURE THEY ARE THE FINEST AND KINDEST HUMAN BEINGS. That’s what matter the most for me.