Being positive doesn’t mean that you should always say positive answers to everyone’s request and “order”. Being positive also means that you should severe that which affect your peace of mind. Quite often you would have come across situations where you feel that you are being taken for granted. You keep quiet. Why?Because that person is sweet to you. Or Because you don’t want to offend anyone. Result? You end up being frustrated and feeling low.
Learn to say NO
Firstly, what you need to perceive is that positivity doesn’t mean positive answers. You can say a NO and still be positive because, with a simple NO, you could keep the further negative thoughts at bay.
You bottle up the emotions, frustrations and end up burning out.
Being there for someone is easier said than done. But if you are being there for someone who doesn’t value it, then it’s an injustice you do to yourself and your self-worth. So next time you hesitate to say a NO ask yourself because now you know the importance of saying no.
Questions to ask yourself:
1. Is it wrong to deny?
‘I can’t say no to anyone because if feel guilty.’ You might come across this line quite often or said it yourself. But have you ever asked yourself why?
You are conditioned to behave in a certain way that you make everyone happy. Be kind, compassionate – These lines are instilled so deep that you have lost the discretion of whom to be kind and compassionate.
You are mature enough to realize if you are being taken for granted. If you let yourself being subjected to it, whom should you blame? YOURSELF!
2. Will it hurt anyone?
As simple as it sounds, the question is equally tricky. If someone is there to make you feel that you hurt them, the decision to see through the pretence is up to you. Beyond this ‘victim play’ if you think logically, and still feel that your No will hurt them, you shouldn’t ent. But ‘anyone’ includes you as well.
Will it hurt you? Will you go on a contemplative mode about ‘Why didn’t I deny? , Why can’t I deny’ Therre you go you are hurting yourself.
3. Will it give me happiness and peace?
Sometimes, denial is tough. But once you put your door down and take the decision, you would feel like a burden is out of your brain. This is classic situation of toxic relations – be it friendships, or relationships.
We have grown up in country that gave birth to Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa. We are brought up with the ideology that we should help others and keep ourselves as second priority. We should indeed help those who are in need not the ones who need you for their selfish needs. Recognise them and keep them at bay without guilt. This post might sound like a negative one, but trust me this is the ultimate step to eternal positivity. Hold those that value you right but keep those that use you at bay. Learn the importance of saying NO! Say it without guilt.
I tried many times this art of telling NO….. sometimes succeded but in the majority of the cases I failed badly…. I am confused… Is it a crime to say No… If something I don’t like at all to do
I tried many times this art of telling NO….. sometimes succeded but in the majority of the cases I failed badly…. I am confused… Is it a crime to say No… If something I don’t like at all to do
Superb post as always . Why women is still afraid of saying NO . ? Because we live in a society thats put Men on pedestal. ? This is the side is sexism which we don’t take about often . Thanks for bringing this out 🙂
Superb post as always . Why women is still afraid of saying NO . ? Because we live in a society thats put Men on pedestal. ? This is the side is sexism which we don’t take about often . Thanks for bringing this out 🙂
Like everyone I came across many times where I have to say No in othweway…with my experience Inhave written on same topic…But I really like your version and learn many things..
Like everyone I came across many times where I have to say No in othweway…with my experience Inhave written on same topic…But I really like your version and learn many things..
You made the right point!! Sometimes it’s okay to say no, it’s okay so think about yourself, it’s okay to care about your own happiness. Loved this amazing post! Thanks 😊
You made the right point!! Sometimes it’s okay to say no, it’s okay so think about yourself, it’s okay to care about your own happiness. Loved this amazing post! Thanks 😊
Their is no harm in saying no. We are also humans so it’s not neseccary to do something without intrest. You have discussed every good topic in this article.
There’s absolutely no problem in saying no. And nothing is more precious than internal peace and happiness. It is a part of self care and self love only. Great post. You have touched the right topic. ✅
There’s absolutely no problem in saying no. And nothing is more precious than internal peace and happiness. It is a part of self care and self love only. Great post. You have touched the right topic. ✅
You’re right, nowadays saying NO is important sometimes. Really beautiful penned 👍❤️
You’re right, nowadays saying NO is important sometimes. Really beautiful penned 👍❤️
For the longest time I used to have a huge problem saying no. Now I am much better at it now.
For the longest time I used to have a huge problem saying no. Now I am much better at it now.
This is such a great and informative post. Thank you so much for sharing this. I have a huge problem saying no so I totally needed this. Great post🤗🤗💖.
This is such a great and informative post. Thank you so much for sharing this. I have a huge problem saying no so I totally needed this. Great post🤗🤗💖.
it’s a beautiful post.. I personally find it difficult to say No and when i do sometimes I get a cold shoulder.. sometimes it hurts sometimes not but at the end of the day peace of mind matters
it’s a beautiful post.. I personally find it difficult to say No and when i do sometimes I get a cold shoulder.. sometimes it hurts sometimes not but at the end of the day peace of mind matters
I don’t think being positive has anything to do with saying yes. Being positive to me is how you respond to the circumstances you find yourself in. Inability to say no comes from a low esteem and lack of self love, when you are trying to please the others. Mahatma Gandhi and mother Teresa were not people who couldn’t say no. They knew exactly what they wanted from life and did what made them happy.
I don’t think being positive has anything to do with saying yes. Being positive to me is how you respond to the circumstances you find yourself in. Inability to say no comes from a low esteem and lack of self love, when you are trying to please the others. Mahatma Gandhi and mother Teresa were not people who couldn’t say no. They knew exactly what they wanted from life and did what made them happy.
What happens when family is only not listening to your no? How do you handle that? Break up a marriage or stay in an unhappy one?
What happens when family is only not listening to your no? How do you handle that? Break up a marriage or stay in an unhappy one?
I agree that we grew up with a proper set of moral values and learning that we should always behave in compassionate way and be happy and positive even during difficult situations but during practical life “No” has its own importance. Keeping a balance and do what you can do is most important thing to maintain a level of mental sanity.
I agree that we grew up with a proper set of moral values and learning that we should always behave in compassionate way and be happy and positive even during difficult situations but during practical life “No” has its own importance. Keeping a balance and do what you can do is most important thing to maintain a level of mental sanity.
OMG..this is so true…Lots of people in my life gives me this advice. For me saying No is so difficult and I agree it does makes me not very happy. Great tips and great post too.
OMG..this is so true…Lots of people in my life gives me this advice. For me saying No is so difficult and I agree it does makes me not very happy. Great tips and great post too.
Indian society has never given opportunity to say no for our dislike and it has been since long must tell you have put light on good topic.
Indian society has never given opportunity to say no for our dislike and it has been since long must tell you have put light on good topic.
It really difficult to say No ; especially to people who are close to you. But as rightly mentioned in the blog, if u love urself learn this art.
It really difficult to say No ; especially to people who are close to you. But as rightly mentioned in the blog, if u love urself learn this art.
I was one of those humans who never learned to say “no” to others until it started affecting my sanity. I have finally started taking baby steps towards keeping my mental peace first and have also learned to say “no” to others, it indeed is nothing short of a revelation 🙂
I was one of those humans who never learned to say “no” to others until it started affecting my sanity. I have finally started taking baby steps towards keeping my mental peace first and have also learned to say “no” to others, it indeed is nothing short of a revelation 🙂
Saying NO has been one of my challenges since I was growing up, more so due to the fear that I may hurt the other person. But I have started to work on it on a serious note in the recent past.
Saying NO has been one of my challenges since I was growing up, more so due to the fear that I may hurt the other person. But I have started to work on it on a serious note in the recent past.
Saying NO has been one of my challenges since I was growing up, more so due to the fear that I may hurt the other person. But I have started to work on it on a serious note in the recent past. Loved reading it
Saying NO has been one of my challenges since I was growing up, more so due to the fear that I may hurt the other person. But I have started to work on it on a serious note in the recent past. Loved reading it
Saying ‘No’ is a challenge for me be ause I always think if my No will not make anyone hurt. But slowing I am trying to be more practical in life and to say ‘No’ whenever necessary.
Saying ‘No’ is a challenge for me be ause I always think if my No will not make anyone hurt. But slowing I am trying to be more practical in life and to say ‘No’ whenever necessary.
saying no has been one of the banes i tell you! it is natural for me to agree and go along with what everyone wants, until i realise that i have too much on my plate and then im up and working all sorts of hours! in 2021, i am consciously trying to mend my ways 🙂
saying no has been one of the banes i tell you! it is natural for me to agree and go along with what everyone wants, until i realise that i have too much on my plate and then im up and working all sorts of hours! in 2021, i am consciously trying to mend my ways 🙂
This is really one of the great post, I too believe saying No is very important when you want nothing or you have to give your genuine concern. Learning to say NO is really matters.
This is really one of the great post, I too believe saying No is very important when you want nothing or you have to give your genuine concern. Learning to say NO is really matters.
This is really one of the great post, I too believe saying No is very important when you want nothing or you have to give your genuine concern. Learning to say NO is really matters.
Your post reminded me of the book ‘Dont day yes when you want to say no’ that I read as a teenager. No is not a negative word if it can have a positive outcome for us. Well-written post.
Your post reminded me of the book ‘Dont day yes when you want to say no’ that I read as a teenager. No is not a negative word if it can have a positive outcome for us. Well-written post.
It is essential to learn to say No at the right time. I am happy that I have learnt about it and now I don’t have pressure. I say No when I have to.
It is essential to learn to say No at the right time. I am happy that I have learnt about it and now I don’t have pressure. I say No when I have to.
I remember I was in a situation when I was not sayin no and doing things that I really didnt want to do and when I spoke to my friend about it, she told me the same thing, If I don’t say a no I cant blame them…. it’s my fault that I cant speak up. So I started sayin no and realized life can be so easy when you convey ur message and speak up.
I remember I was in a situation when I was not sayin no and doing things that I really didnt want to do and when I spoke to my friend about it, she told me the same thing, If I don’t say a no I cant blame them…. it’s my fault that I cant speak up. So I started sayin no and realized life can be so easy when you convey ur message and speak up.
[…] pros and cons, meanwhile pitch into other possibilities. But immense care needs to be invested in saying No without offending anyone because we never know if we have to go back to them at any […]