Life takes us through several tumultuous experiences that eat into our brain and never let us come out of it. Being with toxic personalities, be it friendship, relationship, or professional relations, topples our lives irreversible. Mostly we would not realize how we are sucked into the whirlpool of self-pity, lack of confidence and self-worth, and hatred. You might hear yourself say “I don’t know why something/someone is affecting so much.” Little do we realize that the hatred that we breed is like cancer that first feeds on your thoughts, reflecting on your actions, and finally consuming you. So, how to get rid of hatred? How to lead a life of positivity? How to remain unaffected by certain circumstances?
I asked myself these questions and there started my journey towards wellness.
I have been there:
You might know me as a multitasker who does something or the other all the time. I have been asked several times how I am finding time for myself amidst three little hyperactive kids. I used to beam in pride when I said I am not handling them we are handling each other. But behind this chirpy, short-tempered being, lies another persona that was pulled apart by a toxic friendship. Something that I brought upon myself. I failed to see the signs. Well, obviously it did not go down well.
As with any toxic personality, my one-time best friend did not leave any stone unturned to destroy my sweet little life which I have cocooned myself inside. Result? I had to break out of the cocoon and come out so that I could flay away from all the hatred, toxicity. How did I attain it? How did I get over the despair? And most important, how to get rid of the hatred?
Sometimes you hate someone due to something they did. Sometimes you hate someone for something that they remind you of. sometimes you hate someone for no reason at all or something you cannot pinpoint. But every time you hate someone you are breeding negativity for yourself that will eat you from inside, slowly, spitefully.
How to get rid of hatred?
Hatred is a strong emotion. As strong as it is, it has the power to eat you from inside. It emanates the vibe that you breed inside and consumes you. To get rid of it you have to get deep inside and know it for what it is.
1. Know the source
You should know the source of your hatred. Don’t start on with what the other person did. This will embark you on another hate trip. Know why you are letting the hatred affect you. Think about what result this hatred would bring in your life. When spiteful thoughts come to your mind, learn to identify them immediately. This takes immense willpower and endurance. The more you venture into it, the more you realize that it is coming from within and not due to someone else.
2. Breed your stubbornness
A general belief is that stubbornness is arrogance. Being stubborn is always counted as a bad quality but like any other emotion or quality, if handled with care, it can be used for your benefit. Be stubborn that you will not let the malice of another person or thing affect your peace of mind. Yes, I know it is easier said than done. But trust me if your breed stubbornness the right way, it can create magic in your lives.
3. Talk to yourself
This might sound like an abnormal idea but the more your converse with yourself the more you realize your strength and weakness. You need not speak out loudly, instead, you can meditate or pray. Once you start silently conversing with yourself, identify your strength and weakness. Once you do, you will realize that the same strength and weakness is what someone else is exploiting to get back at you. The origin where the hatred stems from. If you want to know how to get rid of hatred, you should know where to look for the origin.
4. Don’t wish ill for anyone
“Why is this person not getting the payback for his/her karma?”, This would be a common question that would have come into everyone’s mind. Wishing to see someone pay for their karma is the first point from where the hatred emanates. Ask yourself why you wish someone to suffer? Once you ponder, you will realize that it is not the righteous thought of right and wrong but your feeling of being hurt or betrayed that makes you think so. This in turn starts affecting you once you see the other person happy or unaffected.
“Why is this person not getting the payback for his/her karma?”, This would be a common question that would have come in everyone’s mind.
You have to realize that if someone is trying to pull you down, it indicates that the person is feeling pathetic inside. A person who is happy and content would never have time to concentrate on someone else’s life. This means the person whom you hate or try to hurt or humiliate is already suffering loneliness, insecurity, and pain. This realization is enough to convert your hatred to sympathy and empathy and the answer to how to get rid of hatred.
A person who is happy and content would never have time to concentrate on someone else’s life.
5. Replace unhealthy thoughts
Once you learn to identify the unhealthy thoughts, you would have to find an alternative to the same and replace the pattern of thoughts. This is how to get rid of hatred.
Why is this person hurting me? can be replaced by “I am the one who decides whether to be hurt or not”
Why isn’t this person not paying for the deeds? can be replaced by “Why should I wish for someone to pay or suffer. Chanting is another better way to calm your mind. You could chant anything that appeals to you religiously or spiritually. But trust me there is nothing that can replace the power of chanting.
Likewise, identify your pattern of thoughts and modify them. Concentrate on how you perceive more than what they do. Once you make this a pattern in your life, you will never have to ask how to get rid of hatred for you will grow above this feeling that eats you from inside.
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These are powerful pointers Rakhi. Talking to myself helps me a lot. Sometimes there are a few things that we cannot share it with others. Not even our close one’s but we want a vent. I really like how you mentioned about never wishing ill for anyone. Because thats the first thing that comes to our mind.
Agree hatred is a strong emotion and it can put a strong impact on not only our mental health but on our day to day life. you have shared some important pointers here to deal with this peacefully. I am glad you have talked about importance of talking to yourself. yes, I feel it is very important to talk to yourself and replace unhealthy thoughts with healthy one. this small step can bring a huge difference in your overall attitude.
Hatred only harms oneself and it does impact mental health. It is important to understand this emotion and get rid of it for themselves. I usually talk to myself and try to determine why I am feeling the way I am feeling.
Powerful points rakhi….. replace with unhealthy thoughts…. thats great point. This points for our strong mental health.
Totally agree with all the points you’ve mentioned. Talking to yourself is the best way to vent out one’s own feelings and to remove negative thoughts.
Awesome Rakhi, I agreed with this points. You wrote to explain so well. I am glad to know you shared that How To Get Rid Of Hatred And Live Peacefully. This is very helpful and useful. Thanks for sharing😊
These are very helpful pointers. Though I lack some of these but will definitely try to practice. Thank you for sharing.
Awsome Rakhii… Such a beautiful powerful points… Loved reading …
I totally agree with all the pointers you have shared even I believe that we need to know the source from where this is coming in and just make sure to avoid those things which make me feel low or hatred. Thanks for sharing and writing this powerful post
As I strongly believe just the way coins have two sides emotions too have the same. One pair of emotion is love and hatred and another combination is happy and sad. No one is nothing with the other. Without the feeling of hatred love wont exist and vice versa … same without sad , happy will not exist and vice versa. Afterall we r humans and not god… we can ignore sometimes but cant always… but that also does not mean become a criminal out of hatred
Self talk something works miracle and habit of positive affirmations and replacement of thoughts can change our mind and can handle all situations easily..Loved your all lines..
Hatred is indeed self-destructive. The object of your hatred may not even be aware of it, however you are the person who burns and suffers. To let go off things is the first step to eliminate hatred from your mind and heart.
Hatred only harms.. this is such a beautifully written post. I can relate to each word. We should definitely eliminate hatred from our lives to live peacefully
Hatred is a strong word but if someone has a bad experience like you did it’s bound to affect you. Identifying it and letting it go slowly is good for our own sake.
That is such a wonderful post Rakhi. Given the way we all are living we need to get rid of hatred and lead a happy life. Hatred has a very negative way eating the soul from within.
This is very beautifully penned , Rakhi. Hatred and Ill speaking of others is destructive. Lots of things to ponder upon. Good share.
Negativity of any sort, be it hatred or something else, leads to more negativity and a series of unhealthy behavior which can take the person’s peace of mind out of the door. My mantra is to not breed negativity of any kind. I generally tend to forgive and forget people for their misgivings.
Agree with this post. I absolutely feel that to be loved and loving someone is really peaceful. Embrace things that are beautiful and gentle. Beautiful post.
It’s such a beautiful and Powerful piece of writing. I know I need to read this and get rid of the hatred within me. this is going to help a lot of people. thanks a lot.
Thankfully I have passed this phase, now I don’t keep hatred for anyone if they do bad to me. Recently someone haunted me very badly but still, I am being kind to the person. I feel God is watching everything and he will one day realize the person her mistake. So it’s better to keep within us, and be being kind to everyone
This is the best read for today. A lot if us have been through this. But we should know Hatred is not going to help us in any way.
Loved all the pointers . Hatred is strong emotion. Though I lack some of these but will definitely try to practice. Thank you for sharing.
I believe in forgive and forget and that hatred doesn’t take us anywhere but leads to self destruction be it mentally or physically so it’s better to deal with hatred in a positive way.
Life is full of stressful things and burdens already. Not letting go of those you know is beyond your control would only make things worst. Learn how to forgive and you’ll live more with happiness.
These are very important pointers and we all should follow and implement this in our lifestyle.
Hate is corrosive stuff and should be got rid of as quickly as possible. Your suggestions are great.
Words of calm and peace. Nice post
Most of the time, it’s not hatred but hurt and self-pity. But both can be as self destructive. You need to let go of these emotions to begin healing. Great pointers to follow to start the healing process.
Such a deep-provoking & informative post. I loved reading it as it teaches so many things and concur with ur thoughts.
Thanks for sharing your feelings. It’s not easy to pour your heart out. I also believe in your pointers. when you hate someone you hurt yourself. Hate should be kept far away as possible is what I feel
True, agree with all your points.
There is a lot of inner work required to get rid of these emotions. Well written post with all points captured.
Hate is a very strong word. It is not easy to let things go. But we ourselves will not heal if we cling to the hate. A very honest and heartfelt post.
Your post was such a wonderful , positive read. Yes, identifying the source and why hatred affects us is the first step in getting rid of toxic emotions. I have personally never tried chanting, I think I will give it a try
You have written about some of the most vital things required in today’s world where hatred seems to seep in from everywhere. Hope to read more positive posts from you on this series.
Focusing on ourself and our patterns is a hard learning but once mastered, it can help us in many difficult situations. Nicely written! 🙂
Good pointers to get rid of that hate!
I loved your post a lot. This is what everyone needs to consider now. I bookmarked it and will read it again. wonderful post.
These are some really helpful pointers. I have been there too! Its important to ignore and go ahead with a peaceful life.
All points are valid, Rakhi. I want to apply the habit where you say that be stubborn and force yourself not to think negatively about anyone. In fact, use that energy to strengthen you instead.
I always try to push away unhealthy thoughts though it is pretty hard. Good tips. All make sense to live a peaceful life. Stay away from gossip is also one major learning in my life.
This is such a peaceful and positive post
Such a beautiful post, Rakhi. Reading it made me feel like I am listening to a friend talking, your narrative was that real and soothing.
Yes, there should be no room for hatred in out hearts, and your points show us why.
Hatred is a really, very strong feeling to say; holding it can ruin mental sanity forever. All the pointers are spot on. Sometimes being stubborn helps in growing. You have perfectly mentioned it here, “Be stubborn that you will not let the malice of another person or thing affect your peace of mind.”
Such a brilliant article. I really need more peace.
Hatred is toxic which eats you up. I wish to write so much that it will become a post in itself, I feel. The steps you have shared if worked up will really help especially the way you have suggested breed your stubbornness.
These are some really good tips, I generally also try and understand the other person’s point of view. This helps me calm myself better
What a feel good post
Such a beautiful and powerful piece of writing
Hatred is a strong emotion and better to keep ourself away from it. It does more harm than good.
I like the tips specially breed your stubbornness. These tips are simple yet effective.