My voice

How to overcome lack of libido post partum?

I am sure many of you might find this topic uncomfortable. You might hesitate, sharing this as this is a taboo, especially in Indian Society. A week after marriage, the couple will be badgered with questions about “Good news” but talking about what brings the good news! Oh it’s a blasphemy. Will that end there? Once you have your child, you will be bombarded with advice about feeding your baby, bathing your baby, eating your food, this that and everything under the sun except your changing relationship. Lack of libido is a major roadblock your will experience in your relationship.

Lack of Libido – Time to start talking

You will be shy to talk to others about your changes, which is conveniently termed lack of mood, lack of interest, etc. You can ignore this and go on. At some stage, it would be back to normal. But that’s not the case always.

I have seen many couples drift apart right after delivery and used to wonder what changes after having a baby. Now, after going through the travail myself, I know why?

Lack of libido in women is a subject that has not much discussed or crushed aside as something that should not be discussed. Today, let me tell you how I overcame my situation. It might or might not help you.

I might be judged for discussing this topic but I don’t care. So, what to do?

1. Don’t blame yourself

You are not a superhuman so as to handle your child, take care of the household, deal with lack of sleep, work-related stress and finally jump into the bed and have the steamiest love making.

You must know that it is quite natural to not feel anything. The key is that you should realise it and be ready ti accept it without blaming yourself.

2. Talk to your partner

Communication is the key to every relation. Your partner might not understand what you are feeling and might misunderstand your change in attitude as change in priorities. (Though it could be true sometimes) Talk to them.

3. Don’t be hard on yourself

Gone are those days when women are the Goddesses of ‘do-it-all’ and ‘give-it-all’. If you try to do everything yourself, you will reach the bottleneck at some point. The social media is no less in projecting the perfect lady picture of taking care of kids, keeping the house impeccable, and looking gorgeous simultaneously with a romantic endeavor that looks pitch-perfect.

Perfect woman is not the one who does everything perfectly. A perfect woman is the one who is content with her imperfection. You have the whole life left to be perfect but this is your time to be happy.

4. Spend quality time

Spending time with your partner is very important. You must make them realise that you are making the effort. Now that you have communicated with them, your little efforts will be notices and understood.

If you don’t have any common interests, do what you both love. If he likes listening to music and you like reading, let him listen in his earpiece. You can sit and read beside him. The ambience you share is important. What you do is secondary.

5. Household chores can wait

As I mentioned before, you need not be the flag bearer of perfection. You need to grow beyond “I don’t like to leave dirty dishes, I don’t like dust on the floor, ” unless you have clinical OCD.( WELL OCD IS USED SYNONYMOUS TO CLEANLINESS THESE DAYS)

6. PDA is not a crime

Don’t hesitate to show your love wherever you want. A peck on the lips in public place is not going to land you in the prison. If you have elder kids, don’t think what they would presume. They should grow up seeing their parents love each other unrelentingly. There is no better positivity lessons to teach them.

This doesn’t mean that you should go all out to give them intercourse classes. You know better!

If you feel that nothing works, don’t hesitate to take help.

38 thoughts on “How to overcome lack of libido post partum?”

  1. Omg! This is an unconventional topic amd much needed! I love it how you try to explain things and make it more comfortable!

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  2. Amazing content here! I loved the thing that you described all the things in the best way. They are so deeply researched by you. Keep up this good work,I appreciate your all efforts.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. These are such practical tips which in spite of knowing we hardly follow. I agree when you say we are not superhuman. Lets accept who we are and what we really want. Stop making everyone else happy . Just be the way we are and learn to accept appreciation.

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  4. Well i do think that it is little un comfortable topic for most of women..but I really liked the way you had presented this. and share valuable points to deal with this situation. personally I believe communication is key to solve any family or couple problems. with proper communication, couples can find a good way to solve this kind of issues.

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  5. So glad you wrote about a topic that’s hardly spoken about. New moms go through a lot and affection and intimacy with partner can surely make it easier to handle. Communication and expression are so important.

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  6. Appreciate your work well to go with topic to be discussed… Definitely a must to share with all I am doing it right now with my family and friends…

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  7. The first thing is for the couple to understand each other and therefore open lines of communication are a must. An understanding partner would fully realise the stress his spouse’s body has gone through and would wait till her natural urge comes back.

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  8. I have been through this phase and what worked in our case was communication like open and honest talk. I am glad that you chose to write about it, this post will be really helpful for new parents.

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  9. A topic that not everyone talks or blogs about but many want to know the reasons and how to help themselves. Self-understanding and partner’s support go a long way. It’s worth sharing with as many as possible.

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  10. A topic which no one wants to discuss.. Seriously you have nailed it so well explained.. At end of the day a understanding partner conts.

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  11. It’s a known fact that post babies women specilly loose their libido but the best way to deal with it is like you mentioned, talking it out. Set a special tme out for your spouse and show that despite a new baby, your partner is more important in your life.

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  12. Excellent topic, Rakhi. I dunno why people shy away from important parts of their lives. Everyone has sex but won’t talk about it freely in India! Glad to see you breaking that bastion and discussing it. I understood this lack of libido and used to talk to my husband about it even 36 years ago.

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  13. That’s a good topic to address. A lot of people shy away from talking about it. But this needs to be discusses timely, especially with the partner.

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  14. Glad you brought the topic which is less discussed. Yes we all have right to share with our partner our feelings and the way we look at the world. One tip I follow is not being perfectionist and that kind of helps me to be the wayI want to be.

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  15. Sudden, surprise, pecks on the cheek dont hurt. Unexpected shows of love and romance can dk wonders especially for a post partum woman with raging hormones.

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  16. I appreciate how you have touched a topic which is much prevalent yet no one is comfortable to discuss. It is important to be open to the partner about this.

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  17. Lack of libido in women after delivery is a common yet not really pondered upon problem. Thanks for sharing these valuable tips it will help lot of new moms.

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  18. Rakhi, what a post! Reading this is so helpful to me as I delivered my second baby just 2 months back. There are so many emotions that a women feels, yet she cannot say it out loud and no one bothers to understand too. Thanks for writing this post.

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  19. Not many are comfortable with these topics, but you have explained it so nicely. Everyone should read this and these tips are really valuable. I never heard of this but after reading this, I understood what it is. You explained everything so well and not everyone can touch such topics and explain them the way you did.

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  20. Hey Dear, once again you have shared absolute unique but necessary content..this topic is completely new to me..but I am really happy to see those solutions ,will help me further for sure. Stay connected and surprise me more.

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  21. Great topic Rakhi… I’m glad you write about this because people hesitate to discuss about these things. Lack of libido after post partum is just a phase. We need to discuss this with doctor.
    Very well explained article 👏👏

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  22. Very well written nd very informative… Actually something which everyone wants to talk but don’t know with whom and where to start… God job dear.. keep rising n shining…waiting for more content…

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  23. It’s an important topic that needs to be discussed openly with your partner or else a day will come just for such a silly shyness we may end up losing the warmth of the relationship we had for years.

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  24. You have covered some great points in this post. Kudos for writing about this topic. Its very important to talk about This as well for new mothers👍

    Like

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