Category: Relationship

We have all heard of the Seven year itch. Some of you might have seen the movie, many of you have experienced it. If you ask me, seven year itch is so true. Either it is some psychological magic or something related to cosmic energy. Whatever it may be I have been to one. Nothing was going right. I didn’t have the willpower to fight it through especially with the third one being so small at that point of time. I used to wonder if we were the same two human being who have come across all hurricanes for 15 years ( counting the time we dated each other). I had to overcome it. But how?

It is my better half who taught me how. No matter what hell of a time he had at home, he used to be unfazed which I used read as an apathy towards me. Through time I realised that it is his coping up mechanism. That’s when I decided to fight it out his way.

No matter what, don’t let anything affect you or your psyche. Consider everything as a mere passing phase. Things might seem like irreparable but through time you will be surprised to see that everything falls into place by itself. The more you remain unaffected the more it will help you overcome it.

The reason could be anything by as long as your bond remains strong and as long as you realise that the love is still there between you two everything else will be okay by itself.

All these are applicable only if you have situational issues. As mentioned before, if you are in an abusive relation or in a relation where there is no love and caring left, you need to give it a second thought. There is nothing wrong in that but don’t let a mere seven year itch affect it.

It’s said that we only marry once. But there are fortunate or unfortunate souls who had more. It’s not how many times you marry but how happy you are in a marriage that matters the most. Understanding, love, trust, fidelity, peace, freedom- There are a lot of ingredients to the recipe of marriage. The quantity of each changes in each relation and recognizing the balance is important.

Just because you failed once doesn’t mean that you will fail again. The level of perseverance you show is important. That’s what sustains a relationship the most. The problems between people need to be discussed among themselves and solved among themselves. The moment a third person interferes the real trouble starts. Unless and until it is a professional help, it is advisable not to let anyone know your problems. The above applies to the problems that arouse due to the difference in opinion but for abusive relationships, the moment you realise you are in one, seek help, preferably legal or atleast tell your family.

All the above is applicable only in hopeless cases. Where things could be solved with an open conversation, do that first. Live happily, peacefully and full of love.

We all have friends who are like a family, which we lovingly call family friends. Some of them are more than family. Quite often the husbands will be friends, wives will be friends and kids will be friends as well. But rarely, this would not be the case, wives would be friends but husbands won’t get along and vice versa. In some cases the school and collegemates try to involve their spouses in their ‘so called’ Alumini but the spouses might not be able to digest the over the top friendships. These are not rare scenarios.

To balance between these is important. You might not like your spouse being close to their friends but as a civilized human being you ought to respect their friendship and not try to be an obstacle. The flip side is when the spouse fails to acknowledge the fact that family is family and friends not be an inevitable part of it. The thin line and balance between two assures a peaceful family life as well as everlasting friendships.

The third scenario is breaking the bro code or the sis code- hooking up with your friend’s spouse. This is the worst case scenario. The one who is betrayed is betrayed from both sides and you end up losing both. To avoid such a scenario, it is important that you don’t forget to draw a line between friends and family. Where you feel like it is being crossed you ought act irrespective of what the others think.

Quite often we complain about our spouse’s inability to express love, deliver complements, understand what you want etc. If you are one who has these complaints, it is time for an introspection for it’s you who are being inadequate. If you feel that your partner is not expessing love, why don’t you do what you expect from them

In every relationship, over the time the graph gets to a static. That’s when the danger bell rings. That’s where were hear terms like boring marriage. It is you who can work on it and change it. Your job is to look for and recognise the driving force in your marriage.

It is easy to say that we have been like this for years but it is equally difficult to take and effort and change it. The driving force is recognising what your partner likes. It could be anything. There would be always one thing that you both would like. God has not made any two human beings so far apart that they have nothing in common. But identifying that commonality is important.

To add Color and flavour to a lifeless marriage, change is imminent. The moment you are ready for that change, the relationship changes.

So, try to find that driving force in your relationship and revive the lost Color and flavour.

Of late I have been asked if I don’t do household jobs at all. I appreciate the intrigue people have in my personal life. To curb the desire let me clarify. Yes, I don’t do much cooking, if cooking is the job they are referring to or is it room and bathroom cleaning? Or is it taking care of three kids of age two, five and seven? Why do people assume that someone who reads books is jobless. Why is reading considered as something that need to be done when you are jobless?

Let me ask! How many hours a day do you spend in watching forwarded videos in WhatsApp?  How many hours do you spend watching the shared posts in Facebook, and Instagram? How many hours or may be minutes you spend in a beauty parlour doing facial, pedicure,manicure or just doing eyebrows? How much time do you invest in TV? How much time do you have for a day out or night out with friends? If your answer is zero to all the questions, I admit that I am jobless. If your answer is a positive number for any one question, then I would say that you are judgemental.

Time is not a luxury. I have no time is not an excuse. We find time for doing everything that you feel you must do or you find an interest in. My interest is reading and my blog and hence I find time. But I don’t watch forwarded videos unless there is some caption which convinces me that it is worth my time. I don’t have a Facebook or Instagram account. I don’t go to parlours except  for a haircut coz by now I am convinced that no parlours could change how I look and neither helped me boost my confidence. I don’t watch TV except when there is some movie that I love ( only on weekend). Now you introspect and tell me how much time you have for reading?

When I am teaching my kids, while they are writing, I read. They never felt that Amma is doing something else while I am studying. Before going to bed my 7 year old daughter insists on reading a story herself. All these have made a positive impact in my psyche. We are living in an era of digital burst that books are viewed as obsolete. If our mindset is this, how can we expect our kids to indulge in reading.

Just because I am a review blogger, I don’t claim that I have read all the classics and international books. There are so many bloggers and books which are famous and I have not even heard of them. Does it make me less of are so person? Does following my passion make me jobless? I don’t think so. If you do, tell me in the comment section.