When I had my second baby, his paediatrician asked me if I am working. Since I was not technically “Working” as per Malayali standards, I said ‘No’. We will discuss the malayali standards of a working wife a few days later. Today let’s concentrate on growing up. So, I said no. Suddenly the doctor said Lucky Kid. We all think if a woman is working, she ought not care the kid. It is true that absence of a mother in the first one year of a kid’s life is major inadequacy. Expressed breast milk or formula cannot substitute for a mother’s warmth but if certain situations, it would be unavoidable for a mother to stay away from work and there starts the guilt trip of not being able to be there with the kid. If you are not enough depressed of it, there would be a whole army to induce the birth of guilt, which might haunt you till grave.
My aunt had to start working when her son was 90 days old and hence she had to keep him in a crush. She is going to be 56 and still she has to hear how mercilessly she abandoned her child. If that was not enough she even had to hear the comments that she doesn’t have the right to question if her kids put her in an old age home. So much for financially supporting her family and providing for her kids to study in a leading school in the city.
We cannot control what people say but we can very well control how we feel about it. You can very well compensate for the loss of time by being with them once you are back home. Little instances of cuddling and kissing can make a lot of difference. Once you are back home, lend your ears to the kids. You can make up for the lost time by being there. All these time loss and not being there is only till they join school. After that they will be busier than us and these days kids are enrolled in so many programs that they don’t have time for their parents. However busy you may be, try to eat atleast a single meal a day together. As the saying goes” The family that eats together and prays together stays together”.