Are you hesitant? Do you find yourself plagued with indecisiveness in making ‘bold’ decisions? Do you fear being judged for your actions? To some extent, all people are victims of self-doubts or insecurities at different points in their lives. But these feelings are often more amplified in women. Right from our childhood, we are conditioned by our family and society to think, feel, and behave in a certain way. Our actions are under constant scrutiny. Even today, many of us are told to be good wives, mothers, daughters, or daughter-in-law and sacrifice our dreams for the sake of male family members. Worse, some women are expected not to have any dreams at all.
All of this means that as women, we are often shier and underconfident than our male brethren. We bottle up our thoughts and don’t speak our minds.0 We undermine our achievements and brush off compliments. Over a period, we stop believing in ourselves.
To believe in yourself requires a holistic strategy.
What you have in your minds is what we will achieve in your life. If you believe that you can and you can’t, you are correct in both cases! You need to have faith in your abilities and skills to achieve your ambitions. And self-belief can be practiced and developed with time. It entails falling in love with yourself, with all the experiences, personalities, and perspectives that make you unique. You are one of a kind in the world- there is no one else like you. You have an ‘unfair advantage’ over others and need to tap this to achieve success. Countless reams have been gone into the subject of overcoming shyness and gaining confidence. Here, I am putting forth some simple techniques to create ‘empowering’ beliefs that will boost your self-confidence.
8 Ways to believe in yourself:
1. Positive affirmation
Look into the mirror first thing after you get up every morning and say ‘I Am the Best’ aloud. Enthusiastically, repeat this affirmation at least ten times every day until it’s ingrained into your subconsciousness. Lock yourself in the bathroom, to begin with, if you are self-conscious. The results will amaze you.
2. Me time
Take out the time to look your best and give yourself some space. Dress up more often, even when you are at home. Looking good will make you feel good, giving a boost to your self-confidence.
3. Do one new thing every day
You can start small, like going out for a ten-minute walk alone or reading the newspaper after your husband finishes it. You are gradually moving outside your comfort zone by trying a new thing every day. The change will only make you grow, and you won’t even realize when you start taking up more arduous tasks.
4. Engage in an activity or hobby that makes you feel relaxed
This could be anything from reading to music to gardening. Take some lessons or join some clubs. This will enlarge your social circle. Exploring things that excite you is a great antidote for shyness.
5. Feed Your Mind with thoughts of what you want to achieve
Surround yourself with positive thoughts as a first step to believe in yourself. Watch documentaries about people who have overcome obstacles to achieve their goals. Read inspirational quotes and note down the ones that strike a chord with you. Self-educate yourself about new topics, like personal finance, that will help you reach your goals.
6. Ask for advice
It is not a sign of weakness. Make a point to seek advice from others who have achieved goals similar to yours. Helping others and sharing advice make people feel good about themselves, and they would be happy to help.
7. Build a healthy routine
You need to adopt different habits to achieve different results than you were getting till now. Consider building meditation, yoga, visualization, incantations, reading, or a combination of any or all of these into your daily life. Setting a new routine will enable you to recognize your inner power and set the tone for a confidence-filled day.
8. If you are shy or conscious, let people know.
Many people, like me, find it difficult to follow a noisy conversation involving large groups of people. Be frank and directly convey to others that you are having difficulty. Others are more likely to invite you to join their conversation rather than leave you alone when you say so. People respect honesty and vulnerability.
Replacing a limiting belief with an empowered one takes time and practice, but consistency will give you the desired results. Wake up feeling good about yourself, and nothing can come in between you and the world. As you believe in yourself, so you will become.
Smita Das Jain is a Personal Empowerment Life Coach, Executive Coach, and NLP Practitioner. Smita’s ‘Empower Yourself’ Coaching Program enables people to create a career they love, find time to do all that they like, and live the life they choose. You can learn more about Smita’s ‘Empower Yourself’ Coaching Programs by visiting www.lifecoachsmitadjain.com.
Smita Das Jain