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Feminism is a term which has been abused for quite some time. With women’s day on your doorstep, it is quite a relevant topic that you should mull over. Anyone and everyone is a feminist these days with a strong anti-male indulgence. Respecting women has been used as a term that one should learn and practice daily so that it is used in every discussions, social media posts, and anything that concerns a woman. It is as if a man is not supposed to react even if a woman abuses on his face because she is a woman and he has to respect her. It is an era when women is termed to be empowered and being on the top of the world and it is the same era when women is forcefully be respected just because she is a woman. Is this feminism? Even if we check the dictionary meaning of feminism, it is written as political, social and economic equality to men.

Photo Courtesy : Sharon Shyam Photography

Nonetheless a group of women with a persona of a feminist is trying to make it a point the women is glorified to a position where ‘Respect women’ is a punishment for the ages long discrimination that she has been subjected to. Should a women be respected if she doesn’t intend to reciprocate it, much less acknowledge it.

No term has been as skewed as the term ‘feminist’. In a family, if a wife obeys her husband, is it exploitation of a gender. It would be, if the same is not reciprocated from the husband’s end and it is only the wife who is on the obedient side. While the authentic and genuine feminists were trying to put forth the point, it was taken forward by a group of pseudo feminists or female chauvinists, and interpreted in such a way that the harmony in a relationship is affected beyond bounds. If you are a feminist, it doesn’t mean that you should stop dressing up, or wear unisex clothes or take all chances to portray men as a bunch of chauvinists and utter all sort of nonsense that the women have started fearing the public before saying that ” I am a feminist”, because then people would assume that they are anti-male. What message would they pass on to the next generation. Will they start viewing men in a different light?

Photo Courtesy : Sharon Shyam Photography

We need 50% reservation in everything, specially reserved seats in public transport and all sort of amenities but still want to be counted in as equals! How convenient is that? While I used public transport, I have noticed that there are many teenagers and even young women who are reluctant to give up their seats to a pregnant woman or a mother with kids or elderly women. So what specials reservations do they deserve? Has it become so convenient that women can make use of their ‘being women ‘ status and flagrantly ignore a group of women who are indeed the weaker sections.

Section 498A in Indian Penal code is the historic change in the legal scenario which helped many women in escaping from the gruesome domestic violence they have been subjected to, so does section 376. But some weeds in the garden chose to use these sections to their benefit which forced the masses especially the bureaucrats who look into the matter to think twice before taking any actions. These women have not merely used these Indian Penal Code sections against  men but by faking such complaints they are using the same against women who actually needed support.

This women’s day, there will be a lot of resolutions taken by women- To make sure that no women is abused, verbally, physically, psychologically and sexually; To stop exploitation of the helpless women; To stand for the women’s rights and whatsoever reason. Amidst all these let’s also pledge to prevent those women who misuse these privileges from doing so; Let’s make women aware of the difference between feminism and female chauvinism; Let’s tell them that to be empowered women need not fight against men but move along with them. Women empowerment is not merely learning martial arts but by understanding the self worth and stop claiming respect. You need to give respect to take respect.

The question is of course rhetorical. I do not want to hear reservation or empowerment for an answer. Because by now all these utopian ideas have proved to be a farce. All that we can offer our girls is martial art class, psychological awareness, a pepper spray and a lot of prejudice. Even after numerous social media awareness programs, talk shows and debates, we are still stuck in the body shaming, slut shaming and male chauvinistic era. Do you think all these happen only in social media ? Do you intend to say that it is the men who slut shame women? Then I have to ask you which universe do you live in. Open your eyes and look around. You can see numerous women, ladies,aunties, oldies and teenagers who pass on the sleaziest comments against women.

Recently I attended a family friend’s function. When I entered their home, the first reaction of the host to my husband was “Why don’t you make her wear some clothes”. I looked at myself. I was wearing a kurta and leggings . Apparently I was wondering if I forgot to wear my leggings . No, it was there. A lose leggings  that didn’t even go with the definition of the “leggings” we see these days. The kurta was a high neck one. So cleavage is not visible. So what did I miss? Aah yes, sleeve. I was wearing a sleeveless kurta and was shamelessly flaunting my arms. Flaunting your back, bust, abs, belly button and even pubic hair is allowed as long as you are wearing a saree but your legs and arms should never be exposed to the public. What are you saying!! It is against our cultural heritage.

I still don’t understand why she asked my husband why he didn’t make me wear some clothes instead of asking me why I didn’t wear something. Is he the one who put on clothes for me? Or is it because they think that I make my husband do my jobs? No, the answer is clear. The insinuation was that why my husband “allowed” me to wear a sleeveless dress. I must take permission from him before wearing this and he should not “give” permission to wear sleeveless.

This is one of the harmless instances that I mentioned but what with the more serious, shameless, brutal and culture less thoughts revolving in the likes of the lady whom I mentioned before. God forbid if someone rapes a girl or woman who was wearing sleeveless or short dress they would say that she deserved it or even she asked for it. So why do we get surprised when men give rape threat to a woman. If his mother thinks that a woman should be raped for wearing modern dress or western dress for that matter, what would you expect her son to do with a woman. Respect? Nay!!

We should teach our girls to stand up for themselves, we should teach our boys to respect women, but before that we adults should behave. A man need not respect a woman with such sleazy mentality. A man should only respect a woman who gives due respect to him without being submissive and dominating. Before teaching a boy or man to respect a woman, let women start respecting each other irrespective of their dress, financial status, cast, creed or nationality.

Another comment that pinched my self-worth was ” it would have been understandable if she was from a rich family ” . So tell me, what is the connection between money and a woman’s individuality or self respect. If you are a billionaire, you can wear anything,do anything and say anything? What do we teach our girls if we ourselves do know how to behave?

“Why does he do all this gossiping?  Is he a woman?” I would say asking this question is a crime. The same insinuate that women keep on gossiping and being woman is a degradation for a man.

This international girls day, let’s not give them anything. Let’s work towards developing ourselves and our mentality. Let’s stand for each other and then teach our girls to stand for themselves.

Land of rapists, land of waste, land without security, ladies can’t go out alone, land without opportunities : A lot of adjectives have been added to our country lately. We have witnessed our youth apathetically proclaiming that I need to leave this godforsaken land, otherwise my life would not flourish. Media is busy celebrating Rahul Gandhi’s torn Kurta, Sasikala’s vile politics, celebrity deliveries  and similar news which provide them mileage and TRPs.  When a group of scientists took our nation to the top of the world, the news had to satisfy with a meagre mention of mere two minutes. While newspapers were brimming with news about Sasikala’s past, (well some gave a front page mention of the news) the news of launching 104 satellites in one go was not given due importance.

Image courtesy : www.ndtv.com

I really doubt how many of our so calle new generation knows about this news. In the social media’s where every controversial news gets viral, this feat was more or less forgotten. The fact that 101 out of 104 satellites belong to other countries reinstates the significance of our nation in the international arena. The picture shown above  was taken by our Polar Satellite Launch Vehicle  (PSLV ). While we share every daily ablutions on social media, proclaim every single incident in our life, would you mind sharing this beautiful awe-inspiring picture.

I have grown up hearing cruel jokes of Indian rockets coming back with the same speed as they were launched, by Indian comedians. Would they mind mentioning this milestone?

Chinese media proclaimed that Indians have reasons to be proud of. But do we realize this? We launched a lunar probe in 2008, we are the first Asian country to have an unmanned rocket orbit. All these was mentioned in the media of our rival country but we, as Indians don’t want to know it.

Take a break today and share this awesome pic as a token of respect to the group of people who made this possible. Media’s won’t care;  let social media do.

PS: Not all medias forgot this.