Challenges I Have Overcome
Karma! I have always visualized it as a daughter-in-law in the patriarchal family setup or in our daily sops, so to speak. You ask me why? Because come what may, anything that happens in your household or life, Karma is to be blamed. Karma is that easy outlet to pin the failures, disappointments, and lack of motivation. While we are at it, Karma would play its role for not putting up enough effort to overcome the challenges that come our way. To stay at the top of the game, we have to be in charge of our life and the challenges I have overcome as an SAHM have been immense. But to stay at the top of the game I had to. How to overcome a challenge as an SAHM?
While battling PPD after my second delivery, I used to visualize myself as a helpless soul sunken in a pit of despair. The thought that I am wasting my life, by changing nappies, was ingrained in my mind. As a Stay at home mom, I was conditioned to think that my life’s purpose was to raise healthy kids and maintain my home. But six years down the line, the realization dawned on me that I cannot let my caliber go in vain and I could simultaneously do my job as a mother without fail. How did I overcome a challenge and start afresh by staying at home for six years? Here are the basic steps I took and they became key points in the challenges I have overcome.
Recognise own’s worth
After spending years confined to home, my confidence had taken a hit. I believed that I lost my talent and perseverance. But when I decided to give life a second chance, I introspected and all I could think of was to write. I started writing poems again. Poems to short stories and finally a novel – when did my talent expand its horizon is still unknown to me.
If you are trying to resume your career, and are unsure where to start, you should start by noting down your strengths. While you enjoy your passion and convert it into a career. With social media at its hype, you can start by pitching for an online opportunity. There are numerous avenues out there. It’s all about where you look.
Plan ahead
We must have a solid foolproof plan to get past the competitive world. This is where journaling and manifestation helps.
Journaling
A journal is like your best friend. You can tell anything to a journal but when you talk to a journal make sure you address yourself with respect and positive ambitions. Note down your strengths and weaknesses. Point out your opportunities and challenges. Have multiple action plans as to how you are going to start because if something didn’t materialise, we should have something else to tap into. Search for opportunities that match your skill set.
Manifestation
If there is something that I blindly believe, it is the power of the law of attraction. Manifesting, your goals, putting it on paper, doing gratitude journal and visualizing it while you work on your goal. The manifestation has been stated in one line but to put it into action intensive brainstorming and perseverance is a must.
Talk to yourself
As weird as it sounds, talking to yourself gives you immense confidence, pushes you forward and instils a go getter attitude inside you. You might err in your process of getting back to your work regime but as a good friend, tell yourself where you faltered and how to rectify. A friend in need is a friend indeed. Be your best friend.
Learn to say NO
However difficult it seems, the power of telling no cannot be replaced with any alternative. When opportunities knock at your door, don’t jump at the first call. Pursue your opportunities, weigh the pros and cons, meanwhile pitch into other possibilities. But immense care needs to be invested in saying No without offending anyone because we never know if we have to go back to them at any point.
Share the load
The most foolish mistake that majority women make is to do everything themselves. Delegation is a virtue that you must master, be it a workspace or home. Ask your partner to share the load if you are the sole responsible one in the relationship. If you are single, modify your life to suit your career. If your kids are grown up, say 8 years and above, ask them to take responsibility for some household chores. The bottom line is that we should not be the only one responsible for the household.
Now that you know how to break the SAHM inertia, start from the basics first and slowly build the momentum. The challenges I have overcome might come across to you as something that every other woman faces. But the fact that it is common doesn’t make it light. You would be there but you might not realise because you are used to hearing ‘we have been through worse’. This is a sad reality that they all had it worse but shant we make it better for us?
This blog post is written for SpeakEasy3.0 and hosted by Dipika Singh and Ruchi Verma.
I admire all SAHMs, my mom is one. Her life has always centred around us and she has been instrumental in us feeling safe and secure. I think that’s a good thing for children, but as you have pointed out, in that space, moms also need their own zone. You have really taken on some good habits to stay abreast such as journaling and positive affirmations. I like the way you have equated karma to a daughter-in-law in a patriarchal set-up! It truly is an endless task.
Honestly, excellent advice in this article – I have tried most of these, and like you, found them to be very helpful. Adding on ‘learning to say No’ to be strategy too.
Wow Rakhi, this post is an eye opener for all SAHMs. I also chose to opt for working from home after the covid period, for some personal reasons. I do feel clueless at times and don’t getting my preferred job roles makes feel depressed. But yes, having confidence on our works and being happy with our lives are two major factors for the ultimate peace of mind.
You are immensely talented and I am sure you will be able to excel in whatever you venture. Don’t feel low because your talent and caliber is not going anywhere
The concept of talking to oneself might seem unconventional, yet it resonates deeply as an effective tool for personal growth. Treating oneself as a supportive friend and guide, providing constructive feedback, and analyzing areas for improvement is a testament to the power of self-awareness and self-improvement. Your suggestion to be one’s best friend beautifully highlights the importance of self-compassion and self-coaching.
Learning to say “no” is indeed a skill that can revolutionize one’s life. Your perspective on thoroughly evaluating opportunities and thoughtfully declining without causing offense showcases a nuanced approach to balancing commitments. The emphasis on being mindful of the future and the potential need to reconnect with those opportunities is a strategic way of navigating decisions.
This post resonates with me totally. I too believe manifesting, spending time with your thoughts and feelings is very important to be more self aware. Sometimes we don’t even know what all we ate capable of. This post is a reminder to all is that nothing is impossible if you manifest.
Thanks for sharing this post , Rakhi.It resonates so much with most of us. We have all come this far because we wanted something for ourselves. You have rightly mentioned all the pointers as that helps one to be on top.Its an eye – opener for all SAHMs.
I admire your courage, Rakhi. They say, it takes a village to bring up a child and you have shared the insecurities of a new mom so well. Focus and believing in yourself is the key.
To say no is so tough but yes we have to apply. I am not a mother and my mother was employed for 30 years but I can understand the challenges you went through when I worked with many SAHM of many communities. You found your purpose. That’s the victory.
Yes indeed. ❤️
Very important points for everyone. Self worth is very important, whatever makes you feel proud of yourself is important. While i was on sabbatical from work and being a full time blogger, I myself felt under utilized.
I could so resonate with this post, because after being in the professional field for 7 yrs and giving it all up for kids, it was getting very difficult mentally to accept myself being at home and not being financially independent. But now I have also started accepting my role at home and setting boundaries.
You nailed it..wonderful advice..For me the most important is learn to say NO, which most of us struggle for sure. This little advice can make life heaven.
Yes totally
Hello RJ 😍
Reading your article makes me realise that you have been through the deep waters of struggle. You speak like someone who knows what it is to be downtrodden. As far as I know such feelings aren’t always a single phase but can get recurrent. My hope, wish and prayer is that you continue to fight and soar up to the surface every single time. ❣️❣️
Thanks Prisha. Yes I have been there and I am out of it. Hence trying to help others as well
Rakhi these are truly some of the blessings that we can give to a person who is a SAHM. Most of us have been through this phase and people make us feel how thankless they are for the efforts we take. I guess times have changed and we need to adopt a different style of living by saying no, taking ourselves seriously, not letting anyone ruin our dignity and so on. Loved reading the reality and we can get past it by using these simple suggestions.